Thankful Thursday: I Was Born This Way

Thankful Thursday. Why not?
It's not about being perfect. It's about appreciating the imperfectly perfect people and moments in our daily lives.


Sometimes it kind of gets redundant. And it always seems to be the same people constantly saying it. "I'm so blessed." 
But before rolling your eyes, don't.


Out of all the negativity in the world, and especially on social networking sites, we need more people realizing how beautiful life is and how blessed we all really are. 
I'm so blessed. 
And I'll keep on being one of those people who say it till they're blue in the face, and you wanna punch them for saying it so often. Wanna know why? Because even though there is a lot of hate and ugliness in the world today, there is even more love and beauty if you actually open your eyes and count your blessings sometimes.


Why I'm feeling blessed today:
I'm realizing that I am definitely an optimist and generally a pretty positive person. And on top of that I'm realizing how much that sets me apart from other people. I like to think I'm not too quick to judge others. 6.89 out of 7 nights a week, I go to bed thankful and ready to take on the next day with a smile on my face. I can spend a Friday night with my friends laughing about everything, with a cute boy, or watching "I Used to be Fat" on MTV with my puppy- and be completely happy and content with my happenings (The third scenario has happened more than once in case you were wondering).


This is just the way I was born. I've always been the girl that sings into her brush in the morning while getting ready, or busting out a FAIL of a heel-click when I'm excited about something. I have heard being the first child has a lot to do with it, but who knows. I've never completely had to try to be happy or confident. It was just always kind of there. Even when I was a gap-toothed, high-lighted and bobbed, awkward, little girl. I've always been pretty happy and stoked on life.

                                       ^Yep.

Don't get me wrong guys. 
-I've felt completely alone before.
-I've never had a lot of money in my wallet.
-I have never been the prettiest.
-I sometimes felt like the people who were supposed to always be there for me, were actually the ones putting me down.
-I have been completely wrong about some things I had no doubt in my mind were right.
-I have had some MAJOR insecurities that I have taken to a pretty far extent.
-I've never been in love.
-I've been really, really sick.
-I have never been completely happy with my body.
-I've been betrayed by people I love.


Yet every night I find so many things to be thankful for in my far from perfect life. 


So yeah, today I'm thankful that I was blessed to be constantly reminded how blessed I am. It's a way of life I wish everyone was blessed with. But it is a mindset that we can all adjust to, if we try. 


It hurts so much to see other people hurt. Trials are hard. Pain is inevitable in this life. I am here to tell you that if you start to focus on the positive and learn from your mistakes and trials, you see so many tender mercies in your life you won't know what to do. 


Not even gonna lie, a good cry never hurt anybody. But try wake up the next day thankful that you live in this incredibly beautiful world with so many people in it that love and care about you. Because I am one of them. I mean it.


xoxo,
Lex

SORRY NOT SORRY

So I follow this twitter account called Sorry I'm Not Sorry (@sorrynotsorryy) and I love it. It's pretty much just tweets about things people are feeling or doing that they should be sorry about, but just aren't. 

Here is a list of a some of mine:
-I become obsessed with things. If I like something, I like it. Well let's rephrase that, I'm OBSESSED with it.


-I will not dress to impress a boy. He might be impressed if he maybe knows a little bit about style, but if not, he might just think I'm a colorblind 20-year-old who ties too many scarfs around her head and owns a little too much leopard. Whoops.


-I can AND will jam out to Ke$ha, Cheetah Girls, High School Musical, Camp Rock, Britney Spears, Hot Chelle Rae and probably a billion other embarrassing types of music. Hard. You have two choices: join, or get the hell out.


-My life is a constant battle with loving food and not wanting to get fat. #realtalk


-I will probably accidentally hash-tag something in our text conversation, on FB or even on my blog. Oh, what's that you say? Hash-tagging is only for twitter? STOP CARING SO MUCH ABOUT STUPID THINGS.


-I like Diet Coke. It's fine if you don't, I just don't really care to hear about it though.


-I keep up with the Kardashians (a little bit sorry, but oh well).


-I am random. If you don't want to partake in my randomness go be boring somewhere else please.


-I love cute little fuzzy animals. This is a recent obsession. Trust me, it's freaking me out too.


-I talk. WAY too much. That's better than not talking though, right?


-I don't like to be around negative people. I really don't. They just bring down everyone around them. Who wants to be that person bringing other people's day down anyways? Not this girl. Promise a lot of people have it worse than you. Get over it.


-I want to make a difference in the world guys. I just want to feel like I made the world a better place. I want to make people's lives better.


-I will get married in the temple for eternity to my best friend. I won't lower my standards for anyone. No settling for this girl.


-Really, my favorite thing in the world is laughing. I hate that my eyes water, but it's still my favorite thing ever- and the way to my heart.


-I will let someone know if I am thinking of them. Sorry if you think it's weird, but I think it's important for someone to know that people love and care about them.


-If you have passion about anything, I will respect and love you. I like people who know what they like, even if it's not what I like. You go Glen Coco.


-Oh yeah, I quote mean girls. A lot.


-I am a hopeless romantic when it comes down to it all. I kinda put on this front that might make me seem bad-a or like I have no heart, but I do. And its a really, really, gushy one. Uh-oh.


-I can sing Britney Spears better than Britney Spears can (okay, that's debatable, but I do sound a lot like her when I try).


-I love my friends. They are all so unique and have all taught me so much about life and myself. Yay for friends and yay for people being themselves and embracing it.


-I legitimately love Justin Bieber. He is talented in many ways, adorable and has an amazing voice. Just cause I like him and his music doesn't mean I have bad taste in music, he's the only exception.


-I might be a lot to take in at once, but I promise you won't regret it. I'll at least maybe make you laugh once. Or twice. Or bake you something.


-I make lists. I hardly ever complete them or even remember about them later on, but for that one moment after making my list, my life feels really calm and collected. Just for a moment though. Don't get annoyed if I pull out my phone and start making a list.


-I think it's good to be with someone who makes you want to be a better person, but you should NEVER want to change who you are for who you are with. I hate when girls change around or for a boy.


-I am constantly listening to music. I can't not. Life without music on all the time is like a Kardashian without an eyebrow pencil. It just doesn't work.

I'm weird. Weird people are the best people though. Don't waste your life being normal.

#sorrynotsorryy

xoxo
LL
P.s. Check out my hilarious friend Kinzie's new blog. Just click here.

Vulnerability sucks

I'm a dreamer. To the extreme. I have all these plans and aspirations for my life. I always have. Like go big or go home right? Depends.


I blame him.
I think it started about four-ish years ago after a little bit of a heart-break. I decided boys are dumb and only live to break hearts and get some. Which is probably true in high school to an extent. But anyways, that was that. I closed myself off to being able to feel. All that mattered was my friends, family, school, church, and cheer.


Don't get me wrong, I had so much fun in high school. Senior year was one of the best years of my life so far. Just when it came to boys I was kind of a bee-yotch. Straight up.


A habit is a hard thing to break. And shutting boys out is still a habit that is hard for me to change. Being vulnerable scares me probably more than anything else. Not in all cases, just when it comes to boys and love. To let someone else decide my happiness is terrifying. I suck at it, let's just put it that way. I find every single little reason to why I shouldn't like someone. When really, it has nothing to do with them at all, and everything to do with me.  The few times I have actually let myself fall, I have ended up getting hurt in some way or another. 


THE infamous 5-year PLAN
It was a little bit after I turned 19 that I created "The Plan". Any independent girl who wants to take on the world has a at least 5 year plan. Mine consists of:
Getting my associates, go on a mission or do some sort of humanitarian project out of the country, get my bachelors, get an internship somewhere amazing and move somewhere like I've never lived before. Then maybe after the 5 years get married.


Reality
Well recently I've realized something. Something that is hard for me to accept, but soooo true. I saw a picture on instagram one day that someone posted that made think like... DUH. It was a note a mother had written to her daughter and it said:


"I think we like to complicate things when it is really quite simple;
find what it is that makes you happy and who it is that makes you happy and you're set. Promise."


I LOVE THAT. It's good to have goals and dreams. I could picture myself at age 24 writing for some magazine, living in a big city, making a decent amount of money- and it seems exciting. The thing is I could totally picture myself going the total opposite direction. Within the next couple years, living in a crappy little apartment in some weird random city, painting and style blogging, with a boy who I love more than anything- and that sounds like true happiness to me. This song reminds me of that completely:

Well... what now?
My fear of vulnerability is what I'm going to work on. It's going to be hard, but to truly be happy I need to open myself up and stop shutting people out. Even if I do end up getting hurt again it will be something that will define me as a person even more. I am still going to stick to the plan, but if something changes... so be it. Because we can plan and plan all we want, but our plans don't always work out. Heavenly Father has a perfect plan for us that is beyond anything we can even comprehend for ourselves. 


I contemplated posting this, but if I'm going to try to stop being so vulnerable I need to start somewhere, right?




xoxo
LL

to do list, who wants to join?

things to accomplish before JANUARY 1, 2012
(some of these are just to help me start off the new year ever better- keep in mind my friends)

-reindeer mounting. I WILL DO THIS

-kiss under the mistletoe. preferably with justin bieber, or this other cute boy i have in mind.. but whatevs

-make sweatshirts for me and my friends that say swag on the back. (you wouldn't understand)

-help a stranger, as often as possible. even if its just a smile.
-bake and decorate thousands of christmas cookies, and just skip around throwing them out to the world

-give something of mine that i really love to someone who needs it more than i do

-be better than i was the day before by prioritizing my life around Christ in every single aspect

-make a hideous christmas shirt/sweater and wear it in public
-watch Elf like a mill times. (haven't even watched it once this year!)
-have a gingerbread house contest

-temple square (i reeeeeeeally hope i can do this one)
-cut out snowflakes out of paper

-start telling everyone i love that i love them, as much as possible.
-a good vegas trip would be appreciated
-secret santa some really deserving people
-go caroling. even if its just to one house.


to make your day a little better:

2012 will be my year. I can feel it friends.
xoxo
LL

lets do this thaaang.

HAPPY MONDAY FRIENDS!

This is how I've felt the past week.

I'm just extremely grateful that this semester is over. Surprisingly, it was a good one. I feel like I've learned more than ever, in school, and just about myself in general. Looking back its kind of just a big fat blur of lots of things.

Big fat blur of a lot of things list:

-School

-My bad a friends

-Work

-Just laughing. All the time.

-Maxis. Probably waaaaay too many maxis. (That was a joke. Never too many maxis)

-Bright Eyes

-Halloween. (Banana, pizza, beer and hot dog.)

-AP Stylebook

-Spotify

-NEW YORK

-Dixie hating me. (Literally the school itself. It just hates me.)

-Turning 20 (Still freaking me out)

-So many asian buns. So, so, SO, soooo many asian buns.

-Mind-openers

-Maverick (Yep, the gas station. Haters gon hate.)

-Vegas

-Diet Coke <3

I mean of course there is a lot more I could add to that list, but that is what I think about instantly when I think back. It's def been a surprising semester. I started out with this automatic just negativeness in a way. Because sometimes, you know how like we can be spoiled brats sometimes? Yeah well I might have done that... just maybe though.

But we know by now, that in the end its all up to us if we want to be happy and have fun. No matter where we are. I might be in little St. George going to Dixie State and living at home, but when it comes down to it, St. George is just a great city. My parents are paying for me to go to college and further my education so I can do something I love and be successful at in the future. And living at home, for the most part.. is bomb. I get free food, free rent and just pretty much free everything. I have the best family and friends ever. Literally, like I am so lucky to have the people I do in my life. That has really hit me hard this semester. I AM SO LUCKY.

So hopefully this kind of catches you up on my life. Cause you were just dying to know everything, right? Probs not. You probably don't care. But guess what? I just get this way over-whelming feeling when I go to blog and feel like you guys don't know whats up with life. That's why I've been so MIA as of late. SO THERE. Now I can start blogging again. 

Also, I wanna start an awkward/awesome list for every time I blog. I've seen it on others, and love it. So I'll pretty much just tell you guys the most awkward and awesome things that have happened to me lately. Kaaaaaaaaa-peeshy? Here's lately's (sure that can be a word).

AWK slash AWES:  

Awesome: I'm like semi-famous now cause my friend Maggie hung out with Lindsay Lohan.

Awk: My phone always auto-corrects my "oh my gosh" lately to "oh my fish." So like, I'm over changing it, and fish is kinda funny anyways.

Awes: I went all last week without one Diet Coke. Okay that's not awesome. But like I just wanted to see if I could do it... incase Earth accidentally gets taken over by DC loving aliens or something ya know? Just being prepared.

Awk: I might have bought a pair of True Religion jeggings that have changed my life. (It's okay you can totally judge. I would if I was you too.)

Awesomeee: Spotify. If you don't have it get it. It's as simple as that. It also has changed my life and made me a happier person. It's free and magical. And to all you private people out there, STOP. Publish that ish! I love seeing what my friends listen to. It like helps us connect on a whole other level.

Awk: I work at Down East Outfitters and am kinda against most of the things we sell there. I constantly have women asking me about my hair too. Things like, "Oh that's different." and "So did you do that on purpose?" Sometimes I wanna be like please put down the blinged out jeans, take off your flower headband, and go get a fashion mag. Thanks. 

Awkward AND Awesome: New Years Eve. The movie. It was honestly kind of a let down, but Ashton and Josh were just babe-in it up.

That's it for today. Go kiss someone under the mistletoe or something.

xoxo

LL